Black & Bright
by Meghan Page
Summary: There are rumors of the existence of colors. Though most people see the world in the customary shades of gray, there are stories of those who can see what no one else can. As the tales go, all you have to do is hear your soulmate speak your name, and suddenly everything springs into glorious color. A Carmilla/Laura fic for the Carmilla web series.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Inspiration for this came from Elly_belly's fic Color on ao3, which you should totally check out if you haven't already. This is just my take on the idea. All credit goes to them!

This turned out a bit more angsty than I originally planned, but oh well.

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><p>There are rumors of the existence of colors. Though most people see the world in the customary shades of gray, there are stories of those who can see what no one else can. As the tales go, all you have to do is hear your soulmate speak your name, and suddenly everything springs into glorious color.<p>

Even as a young girl, Carmilla couldn't quite believe these rumors, no matter how much she wanted to. Beside the dubious nature of the actuality of "colors", which no one seemed to be able to fully explain or describe, there was also the issue of the soulmate. The idea of there being another soul to which yours was a perfect match seemed a bit too fantastic to be true.

How wrong she was.

She had been on this earth for almost two centuries – two centuries full of blacks and whites and grays. And now again, like countless times before, she was playing out the same story – a carriage wreck, a girl too kind for her own good, an offer of shelter. Carmilla was certain it would end just the same as well.

Then it happened. It was a few days after her arrival, and Carmilla was just emerging from her room at her customary late hour. She descended the stairs and walked into the little drawing room Ell and her father usually used in the morning. Expecting to find them sitting at the table, just finishing their tea, she was puzzled when she was greeted with an empty room.

She stepped further inside and looked about her. "Hello?" she called.

"Oh, Carmilla, is that you?" Ell's clear voice came from down the hall. "We're in the front room, the view outside is lovely today and the windows in there are just too small…"

But Carmilla heard nothing beyond her own name, for suddenly the entire world had changed. It was bright, it was vibrant, it… these must be colors. She gazed about the room in awe, her mind somehow supplying her with names to hues she had never seen before. That chair was _red_, and over there, that vase of pine boughs, those were _green_… It was breathtaking.

Carmilla snapped out of her reverie as she heard Ell's voice call her again. "Carmilla?"

"Yes, darling girl, I'm here," she answered, her voice trembling slightly. "Will you come join me for a moment?"

She heard Ell's small footsteps come into the hall, and her still heart clenched in anticipation – and also fear. What if she said Ell's name and the other girl didn't see the colors as well? What if she did?

At last, Ell rounded the corner of the doorway, and Carmilla gasped. She was beautiful. Her hair was a bright blonde, her eyes a shade of blue that, although she was just seeing it for the first time, Carmilla was certain she would never encounter again. She could tell the exact difference shade between Ell's hair and her eyebrows, which were currently drawn in concern.

"Ell," Carmilla breathed, and watched as the brows fell and full pink lips parted in wonder. Ell's eyes flew around the room, unable to look at one thing for long before another color drew them away, before finally fixing back on Carmilla's face.

"Carmilla," she said, her voice low. "Do you… Do you see…?"

Carmilla beamed, unable to keep the joy off her face. "I do," she replied.

Ell bounded forward and Carmilla caught her, spinning her around once before setting her down. She reached up to Ell's face, needing to touch the colors she could now see.

"Blue," she murmured, tracing the corners of Ell's eyes.

"Red," Ell whispered, her thumb ghosting over Carmilla's lower lip.

Carmilla smoothed her fingers over Ell's cheekbones and back into her hair.

"Beautiful," she said, drawing Ell closer to her.

"Beautiful," Ell echoed, just before their lips met, and all the colors of the world exploded behind Carmilla's eyelids.

As they drew apart, Carmilla knew everything was going to be different now. She would make sure it was. She would not let Mother take Ell away from her. They would run away together and spend the rest of their lives reveling in the color they had revealed to each other. Carmilla was certain this time would not end like the others.

How wrong she was.

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><p>Carmilla flinched away from Ell's eyes, away from the blue she loved so well, now distorted by fear and hate.<p>

"Monster!" those sweet pink lips cried, and Carmilla felt it like a slap.

"Ell, please, let me explain…" she wept, unable to bear the sight of that blonde head turned away from her. Turned towards her mother.

Carmilla should have known Mother would find out. Should have known that she could never escape, never have something as precious and good as Ell while Maman had her in her grip.

She was forced into chains, forced to lie in the deep stone coffin, forced to watch as Maman sank her teeth into Ell's neck above her.

Ell cried out, and her blood was red – too red. It poured from her neck, splashing onto Carmilla and flooding the coffin with a red so deep it was almost black.

And then, with a last choking sob, it was. No hint of pigment remained to remind Carmilla of the beautiful life it had once held.

And so Carmilla learned of the second part of the tale. The part that describes what happens if your soulmate dies.

Carmilla screamed.

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><p>Seventy years in a box is a long time to reflect on the past. As the years went by, Carmilla began to forget colors. She remembered they existed, of course, but could no longer recall quite what they looked like. She didn't know which would be worse – not being able to picture Ell's clear blue eyes, or having to remember in exact detail the way they clouded with fear when the girl learned what she was.<p>

Not that it mattered, down in the darkness of her prison-grave. There was no light to even see by. There was only blackness, and sorrow, and the sound of Ell's dying gasp.

When she escaped, Carmilla did her best to bury the memories of that girl, to leave her behind with the colorless remains of her long-dried blood. It became harder when Mother finally found her, but she did her best to focus on her small revenges, and not allow the thought of smooth golden hair distract her from the girls at hand. She did not allow herself to think about what color the eyes of the girls she saved would have been, or what shade of red would show in the blood of those she couldn't.

In those intervening years the game had changed, but so had Carmilla. Instead of relying on the girls' temperaments to see the story through, Carmilla had to depend on herself. She taught herself how to be whomever she needed to be – sultry, snappish, sinister – whatever would get the girls to do what she wanted, whether that be chasing them away or ultimately giving in to Mother's wishes. She was certain that now she could control herself, tamp down her emotions and never let anything like Ell happen again.

How wrong she was.

Laura came into her life like one of her forgone carriage wrecks, tiny, but full of passion and fire. Of course they didn't get along – Carmilla carefully crafted her personality to jar against Laura's at every possible point. She was certain this story would end just the way she wanted, with Laura running for the hills.

Then it happened. She was lounging in bed, reading a book and minding her own business, when Laura's sharp voice came from the bathroom. "Carmilla! Would it seriously kill you to clean your hair out of the shower drain?!"

But Carmilla didn't hear a word after her own name. She gasped, rigid in shock, as for the second time in her afterlife the room around her bloomed into color. Over on the desk, the _blue_ of Laura's silly mug, and on her bed, was her pillow really _yellow_?

Laura came back out of the bathroom and stood in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest and her foot tapping. "Hello? Did you hear me?"

All Carmilla could do was stare. She had of course noticed it before, but now she was struck with the full realization of Laura's beauty. Her lovely light brown hair fell in waves over her shoulders, framing her flushed pink cheeks and beautiful brown eyes, which were currently narrowed at Carmilla in anger.

Realizing she had been silent for far too long, Carmilla quickly rose and grabbed her backpack, stuffing her book inside.

"Sorry, cutie, I'm in a rush. Gotta be anywhere but here," she drawled, knowing it would push Laura's buttons. Sure enough, she heard the girl's frustrated groan from behind her as she exited the room.

As soon as the door closed, Carmilla dematerialized into a cloud of smoke, reappearing on the roof of the library. It was one of her favorite places to think. For the first time, as she gazed out onto the quad below, she saw the green of the grass and the red of the surrounding buildings, muted though they were by the moonlight.

But instead of filling her with awe, as the colors had the first time she had seen them, now all she felt was dread. It was happening again – it was Ell all over. But how? How was it possible? Could one person's soul be a match for more than one other? Her inner philosopher wanted to waste the night away, contemplating all the ramifications this could have. At the same time, her inner pragmatist was screaming at her to run, run while she still could, before history had the chance to repeat itself.

But _her_, her deepest self, the young human girl she thought she had locked away centuries ago, wanted to go straight back to that room and protect her newfound match. She wanted to take her in her arms and shield her from harm.

Carmilla knew she couldn't – at least, not like that. But she would do everything in her power to defend the tiny girl who was somehow connected to her soul. She would do it from afar, keeping up the act, pushing and prodding until Laura was safely away from Silas – and from Mother's grasp.

And, most importantly, she would never, ever say Laura's name. Although it pained her to keep the beauty of the colors away from the girl, Carmilla knew that if Laura ever realized what they were, Maman wouldn't be far behind.

Carmilla would not lose another love – she couldn't.

Her mind resolved, she transported herself back into the dorm, just outside her and Laura's room. She carefully pushed open the door and peeked inside, half disappointed and half relieved to find the room empty. Her roommate was probably complaining to the floor don about her. Good. That served her plan perfectly well.

Carmilla crossed to Laura's bed and say down, letting her eyes roam over the other girl's belongings, taking in their bright, warm hues. She picked up Laura's pillow and held it in her lap, smiling slightly as she considered the shockingly yellow color. It fit Laura so well – so bright, so vibrant – although the girl couldn't possibly know the perfect color she had picked. To her it would seem just like the many other grays that surrounded her, the only color she was able to see.

Carmilla brought the pillow to her face, pressing it against her lips, hoping to sooth the ache that was Laura's name trying to escape.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: Hello friends! Because people have asked, and because I'm a giant sappy nerd, here's a chapter two!

This is a bit of a reworking of the nightmare scene in episode 26. (Sorry, no LaF in this one, although I love them to pieces)

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><p>Carmilla returned from her walk in the small hours of the morning, certain Laura would already be in bed. Sure enough, as she entered the room she found her roommate fast asleep, albeit in a rather odd position. She was slumped in a half-sitting, half-lying position, her head lolled to one side and a book threatening to fall from her lap. Carmilla shook her head fondly, a smile tugging at her lips. The other girl must have fallen asleep while studying again.<p>

She crossed to her side of the room and clicked on a lamp, fairly sure it wouldn't disturb the sleeping girl. Their relationship had progressed to a point where Carmilla wouldn't intentionally irritate Laura anymore, although she couldn't refrain from light teasing and snarky comebacks. Lately, though, her caustic wit was more often than not met with a small smile or chuckle. Carmilla lived for those moments, the times she would hear Laura's laugh. But, somewhere in the back of her mind, Carmilla still almost hoped that Laura would wise up and leave. And if it was Carmilla's annoying behavior that drove her away, then so be it.

Suddenly, Laura started shifting in her sleep, mumbling under her breath. "No, I can't…" she muttered, her body jerking and her brow furrowing in fear.

Carmilla quickly recognized the signs of a nightmare and rushed to Laura's side to stop it before it got any worse. She placed her hands on Laura's shoulder and hip, hoping to ground the girl as she woke up.

"Hey, hey hey, Laura, Laura, Laura," she said, putting gentle pressure on the girl's side, focusing on her face as she awoke. "Laura! Laura. You're dreaming. It was just a dream. Hey." The last word was low and soft, spoken as Laura's eyes finally came fully open.

Their gazes connected, and instead of the fear fading from Laura's eyes, it only changed. She gasped and jerked backwards, knocking her head off the headboard behind her. Carmilla flinched away as Laura pressed herself into the wall, grabbing the back of her head in pain and staring around the room wildly, her eyes wide and startled.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Carmilla asked in alarm, her fingers hovering over Laura's arm, afraid to touch her again.

"There's – It's all – You said my name," Laura sputtered, finally looking back at Carmilla, her lips slightly parted in shock.

Carmilla's brow creased in confusion for a split second, and then she felt her blood run cold. Oh no. No, no, no…

"You said my name," Laura repeated, sitting up straighter and pointing a shaky finger at Carmilla. "You called me Laura and now everything's…" She waved her hands around her, encompassing the entirety of the room. The room that was surely now all in color.

Carmilla felt like she was in some kind of trance. She started to slowly back away, shaking her head from side to side, her eyes wide in dismay. No. This couldn't be happening. A split second of lapsed attention, and months of control were undone. She had been so careful…

Laura followed her, quietly climbing out of bed and standing in front of her. "How long have you known?" she asked, her voice low. "I've said your name so many times now. How long have you known?"

Carmilla could feel the panic rising in her chest, squeezing at her still heart. It was happening again – it was Ell all over. But this time it was so much worse, because it wasn't Maman's meddling that showed Laura the despicable creature she truly was – she had put that look of fear in the girl's eyes herself.

She struggled to keep herself upright, to stop herself from dropping to her knees at Laura's feet and begging for forgiveness. There were tears in Laura's eyes – they tore at her very soul. She had ruined it, destroyed it before it even had a chance to become an _it_.

"Please, let me explain," she implored, clasping her hands together but keeping them low, so it wouldn't seem like the gesture of supplication it was. "I was only trying to keep you safe. If Mother had known, if she had found out what we are –"

"Carmilla," Laura murmured, interrupting her. She reached out and brushed her fingers over Carmilla's knuckles, sending sparks up the other girl's arms. "Your eyes are brown."

She said it like it was the most important fact in the universe, and Carmilla felt her breath catch in her throat. A single tear escaped Laura's lashes, leaving a glistening trail down her cheek.

Then Laura was leaning up and in, a sigh escaping her lips as they connected with Carmilla's. For a second Carmilla froze, too shocked to react. Laura… wasn't angry? Wasn't running in fear? It would have been a reasonable reaction – learning your soul was connected to that of an undead monster would send most people fleeing for the hills. But instead, Laura was here, her arms wrapped around Carmilla's shoulders, her mouth so sweet yet so hungry against Carmilla's.

Carmilla found her hands moving, curling around Laura's waist and underneath her thin cotton shirt. She pulled the other girl closer, bringing their hips flush together as she deepened the kiss, hoping Laura could feel the depth of emotion she held for her.

Everything was right, so right, and not even the brightest color in the world was as brilliant as this single kiss with her tiny roommate.

Too soon, Laura pulled away, her breaths uneven and her cheeks wet with spilled tears. Carmilla reached up to wipe them away before tenderly cupping Laura's cheek in her hand. Laura leaned into the touch, her eyes half closed. Carmilla traced the corner of one with her thumb, feeling the echo of another action and another girl, so similar yet so, so different.

"Your eyes are brown, too, love," she said, and Laura's smile was so wide and so genuine Carmilla was struck anew with how beautiful she was.

"I never thought I would find you," Laura said, her voice shaky, her hands involuntarily fisting in Carmilla's hair.

Carmilla found she liked the sensation. "Nor I you," she replied, running her hand up Laura's spine and luxuriating in the shiver it elicited. She almost added _not again_, but held her tongue. There would come a time when she would have to elaborate on her connection to Ell, but now was not that time. Now there were more pressing concerns to discuss.

"Laura," she said, and was almost swept away by the girl's tiny sigh of pleasure at the sound of her name on Carmilla's lips, but she held her ground. "Darling, there's something very important I have to tell you."

She drew away slightly, taking Laura's hands in her own and giving them a gentle squeeze. Laura gazed at her with unfettered adoration, and Carmilla ached for how what she was about to say might hurt her.

She took a deep breath, then just said it. "We can't tell anyone."

Just as she had thought, the light in Laura's eyes dimmed, and she started to turn away, her expression hurt and confused.

"No, dove, don't misunderstand me," Carmilla pleaded, reaching out to cup Laura's cheek again and turn her face back towards her. "I'm not ashamed of being your soulmate. If you wanted me to, I'd gladly proclaim my love from the highest rooftop on campus."

Laura's wide eyes snapped back to Carmilla's face, and Carmilla felt her phantom heart give a painful thump when she realized what she had just said. Still, she soldiered on, determined to give Laura the warning she needed.

"It's for your safety. If we were to tell anyone, it wouldn't be long before word reached my mother. And then…"

"And then she'd come for me," Laura finished. Carmilla expected her come to her senses then, to finally, finally, run in fear. Hell, it's what she would do.

Instead, she felt Laura's spine straighten, and saw resolve steel behind her eyes. "Then let her," Laura said, her voice strong and steady. "I'm not afraid. Well, maybe I'm a little afraid, but that's understandable. What I'm not is willing to hide. So maybe we don't announce the fact that we're… soulmates…" her voice cracks a little, but she carries on, "to everyone we meet. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna cower in here and never even have to courage to hold your hand. I want to be _with_ you, Carmilla, I want to see all the colors the world has to offer, and I want you by my side while I do."

At the end of her little speech Laura's cheeks had flushed pink, and she was breathing heavily. Carmilla could feel tears pricking behind her eyes. At a loss for words, she tugged Laura into another kiss, molding their bodies together, trying to say silently what she couldn't out loud.

She pulled back and took Laura's face in her hands, gazing into her deep brown eyes. "I would die for you," she whispered.

"No, I don't want that," Laura said, and Carmilla felt her stomach drop until she continued. "I don't want your death. I want your life. Live for me instead."

Carmilla couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped. "I think it's a little too late for that, cutie," she said with a smirk.

Laura shoved at her shoulder with a lopsided smile. "You know what I mean. Just don't get all self-sacrificial on me."

"I'll do my best," Carmilla replied, knowing that was the best she could offer.

Wanting to dispel the heavy mood that had settled over them, Carmilla grabbed Laura's hand and drew her towards the door. "C'mon, I'm taking you somewhere special," she told her tiny soulmate.

Laura laughed, tugging on Carmilla's hand to make her stop. "At least let me put on my shoes first," she said. Not letting go of Carmilla's hand, she grabbed her boots from beside the door and pulling them on. "Where are we going?" she asked as she hopped on one foot, trying to get the boots on one-handed.

Carmilla smiled at her fondly, letting go of her hand but immediately hooking a finger into one of Laura's side belt loops. "The greenhouses," she said. "There should be some night-blooming plants there. You're going to love really seeing flowers."

Laura's answering smile made her feel like maybe she could do more than just not die. Maybe she _could_ live.


End file.
